RULE OF LIFE

Disciplines of purpose in an age of distraction.

SERMONSCLASSSMALL GROUPCompanion GuideRule of Life AI

The goal of this series is to make space in our lives for God, and with that space, craft a set of habits and rhythms patterned after Jesus’ life and God's revealed will: a Rule of Life.

This web page is designed to be a resource for you as you walk through the steps to build a Rule of Life in your own life. Like the Sabbath, it is made for man, not man for the Rule of Life. The Rule of Life you create over these next twelve weeks and beyond should be a tool that aids you in using your God-given freedom for His purposes and glory, not something you become a slave to. The goal of this website is to provide additional references, resources, and templates for you that go deeper than the companion guide. Not everything here will be incorporated into your own Rule of Life. Don't get overwhelmed—pick a few things, work on those, pick up and start again when something doesn't work or you fall away, and keep going. As Paul encourages, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13b-14).

Our Commitment

Building a Rule of Life involves pruning away distractions and intentionally rebuilding our lives with practices that lead to godly living. The spiritual environments, disciplines, and obediences that we discuss within this study are great elements to use as building blocks as we construct our own Rule of Life. Although this process of pruning and rebuilding can be difficult, it is imperative that we undergo this process to reach greater levels of spiritual maturity and sanctification. As we walk through this series and build a Rule of Life together, we are all going to commit to the following practices in community:

1. Attend church and listen to the weekly sermon

Make it a priority for the full 12-week series to come to the Sunday worship service each week. Listen to the sermon. Ask the Lord in prayer what He wants you to take away from the sermon each week. Take notes to reflect on later in the week.

2. Read the weekly Scripture passage

Meditate on the weekly scripture passage provided in the companion guide. Each passage was selected to help you thoughtfully examine your life and evaluate the state of your apprenticeship with Jesus.

3. Work through the reflection questions

There are eight questions in the companion guide to ponder each week. Reflect on these in light of the sermon. They are designed to be reviewed before diving into the homework for the week.

4. Discuss this content with someone

Join a small group, engage in a class, find an accountability partner, or commit to discussions as a family. Whoever you talk with, make sure to follow these practices in community. The community you work through this series with will be critical to help you put aside any failures and celebrate any successes you may experience as you create new habits in your life.

JOIN A SMALL GROUPJOIN A CLASS

5. Follow through on the exercises 

Spend time working through the companion guide. You may start some practices and fail to continue in them. Don’t quit; it’s okay. Revise anything that needs to change and restart again. The follow through of repetition is more important than the specific practices themselves. Accept the slow nature of progress, knowing that God’s promise of help and growth will not fail.

6. Memorize the memory verse

The memory verse for this series that we’ll be coming back to each week is 1 John 2:6. Commit to memorizing this passage. It is a helpful reminder that all that we are doing is to live as Jesus did. If we make claims that Jesus is our Lord, we must walk the walk and talk the talk, living as He did. In the general resources section, there are phone lock screens with this passage on it so that we can be reminded of what we're doing and why we're doing it.

General Resources

  • Companion Guide
    • This is the primary resource for your Rule of Life journey. It has scripture passages, reflection questions, space for sermon and reflection notes, and instructions for each week that culminate in building a Rule of Life by the end of our 12 weeks.

COMPANION GUIDE

  • Lock Screens
    • We also have phone lock screens with the memory verse on them so that we can be reminded why we're doing what we're doing in restructuring our lives.

LOCK SCREEN (16:9) Lock Screen (21:9)

  • Foundational Content
    • Much of this series is building on a past sermon series called The Technopoly, which explores how we are shaped by the technological advances around us and dives a bit deeper into the structures that have been put in place to shape us and form us without even realizing it. If you haven't listened to this series, it is a great place to build some foundational knowledge about how our world is shaping us. 

Technopoly Resources

    • Additionally, the staff team went through this Rule of Life process over the spring and summer in preparation for this series. See how the series has evolved from the beginning with this Rule of Life: In the Making content. Quite a bit has changed, but you can still use this as a further resource to understand the background behind the sermon each week and read all the things Nic wishes he could include on a Sunday morning! 

Rule of Life: In the Making

This series is just the beginning of your journey though. Our hope, prayer, and goal is that this will be the start of a lifelong journey of evaluation, refocusing, and reshaping your life practices to reflect Christ. 

MEASURE

What to Measure

Before you can start measuring, you need to determine what to measure. Don't try to measure everything. You can't and shouldn't—the point of this exercise is to make you more aware of how you spend your time and identify some habits that lead to other things (both good or bad). If you try to measure everything, it will be overwhelming, and you might not even be able to identify those key habits amidst the noise of tracking everything. 

Things to look for: 

  • Golden Habits: what thing tends to lead to other good things? 
  • Corrosive Habits: what habit, environment, or person's company leads to other bad things? 

As you plan and measure, the most important thing to do is to invite God into the process. Go through this process slowly and prayerfully, asking God to highlight areas you need to dig into deeper. Measure and answer the questions honestly and non-judgmentally. It will be tempting to drift toward shame or denial, but both of these responses will sabotage the effectiveness of this exercise. 

A helpful passage to meditate on during this phase is Romans 7: 14–25. "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

In these first few weeks of measuring, don't try to change anything yet. This phase is all about measuring reality and being sobered by what we can't accomplish on our own. While measuring, try to gain insight into why you do what you do, and go to the Lord in prayer and thankfulness that He has delivered us through Jesus Christ.

How to set phone screen time settings: iPhoneAndroid

Tracking Questions

Here is a list of questions to think through as you plan what to measure in your own life. They are organized around key aspects of life. Read through them and pick a few to revisit at set periods (mealtimes, daily, weekly) throughout the measurement phase. 

Mind

  1. What are you paying attention to? Why? For how long?
  2. How much time are you focused on yourself and controlling your surroundings, and how much time are you serving others?
  3. What are your intrusive interests – the things that come into your mind uninvited and will not leave when you mentally excuse them?
  4. What are your triggers? What are you reflexively avoiding? Homework, talking to family, praying?
  5. Set a 25–45-minute timer and ask yourself the following questions whenever it goes off:
    • What were you thinking about when the timer went off? Is there repetition? Is it positive or negative?
    • How much are you in an anxious vs. a peaceful frame of mind and heart? You can monitor this one by setting a timer and taking stock each time it goes off, logging from 1-10 how peaceful/anxious you are at that moment.

Relationships

  1. Who do you spend time with and in what way?
  2. Think about everyone you talked to today. On a scale of 1-10 how cheerful and genuinely interested in them were you? 1-5, how much did they have your undivided attention?
  3. What time is spent in public/corporate worship, study or prayer?
  4. Do you have any scheduled or ritual time to spend time as a family? A shared dinner time?
  5. Do you have any daily times of prayer alone or with anyone else? First thing when you get up, or right before bed?

Body

  1. When and what do you eat? 
  2. When and how do you exercise? 
  3. What and when do you use stimulants or self-medication? 
    • Example: caffeine, alcohol, sugar, tobacco, vapes, etc.
    • The idea is not that these are bad; it is that if we are borrowing from rest or we don’t have peace, we may be using these to fill in the gaps.
  4. How well are you sleeping? 

General

  1. What are you spending your time doing?
  2. What do you do automatically without really intending it? Pay particular attention to distractions and anxious repetitions. Usual suspects are eating, turning on music or other sounds, going to the bathroom when unnecessary, clicking on links that waste time or are defiling of your attention often for vanity or sensuality.
  3. What time is spent in private worship, study or prayer?
  4. What are your habits? When do you do them? Are they good or bad?
  5. Are you watching or looking at sexually explicit material (pornography)?
    • Not just IF, but when? And why then?
  6. How much money have you spent, and in what categories, over the last 3 months?

Technology

Technological usage is the most immersive and controlling ecosystems of forming us in worldliness. See the sermon series “Technopoly”, or review it if you have not considered its effects recently.

  1. How much time do you spend on screens each day?
  2. When do you spend more time than you intend to on a screen?
  3. When and why do you take out your phone? When is it intentional? When is it reflexive?
  4. What is the ratio of screen activity to silence and solitude in your free moments?
  5. How would you describe the difference between solitude and isolation?
  6. What is the ratio between in person interaction and digital interaction?
  7. Do you allow people who are not present (by use of your phone) to take precedence over people that are present? Like family?

Sample Tools 

Here are a few examples of what a measurement tool could look like. We have a few templates for you to use as a starting point for your own measuring. Remember, these are really only starting points. Each person's measurement tool should look different; it should encompass the specific tendencies, habits, environments, and relationships specific to each individual to measure reality and identify the underlying things that lead to other habits. 

VIEW Templates

Other Resources

Another resource to dive in deeper is doing a Formation Audit from Practicing the Way. Instead of taking a few minutes each day over a longer period of time to measure habits, this is a "life audit" that aims to take an inventory of all of the forces that are forming you, both now and in the past. Plan to dedicate a two hour block to prayerfully walk through this exercise. Below is a video explaining more about the formation audit before you go through it.

Formation Audit

CLEAR (AND EXPERIENCE)

The first step in learning a new skill or habit is setting aside the time to practice that habit. The first few formational habits are disciplines of creating space to make room to meet with God. Like Martha, we are often very busy, often doing good things. However, it was Mary who was commended when she intentionally chose to sit at Jesus’ feet, to spend time with Him and listen to His teaching. (Luke 10:38-42) Below are habits we need to put into place in order to make room for other habits and practices.

Fasting

Fasting is a temporary renunciation of something that is in itself good, like food, in order to intensify our expression of need for something greater — namely, God and his work in our lives.

Scripture References: 

  • Joel 2:12 - “Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
  • Matthew 6:16–18 - “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
  • Acts 13:2–3 -  "While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, 'Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.' So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off."

Resources to Start Fasting:

Fasting Alternatives to Food: 

Some people are unable to fast from food. Instead, try fasting from one or more of the listed alternatives. 

  • Technology or phone use
  • Social media
  • Sugar
  • Alcohol

Practicing Sabbath

Sabbath keeping is a way of ordering one’s life around a pattern of working six days and then resting on the seventh. It is a way of arranging our life to honor the rhythm or things - work and rest, fruitfulness and dormancy, giving and receiving, being and doing, activism and surrender…the heart of Sabbath is that we cease our work so that we can rest and delight in God and God’s good gifts. (Sacred Rhythms, Ruth Haley Barton)

The Discipline of Silence

The Discipline of Silence is the voluntary and temporary abstention from speaking so that certain spiritual goals might be sought. Sometimes silence is observed in order to read, write, pray and so on…Other times silence is maintained not only outwardly but also inwardly so that God’s voice might be heard more clearly. (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald S. Whitney)

The Discipline of Solitude

The Discipline of Solitude is voluntarily and temporarily withdrawing to privacy for spiritual purposes. The period of solitude may last only a few minutes or for days. As with silence, solitude may be sought in order to participate without interruption in other Spiritual Disciplines, or just to be alone with God. (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald S. Whitney)

Scripture References:

  • Matthew 14:23 - "After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone."
  • Mark 1:35 - "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."
  • Luke 4:42 - "At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them."

Ideas to Get Started: 

  • Turn off the music/podcasts in the car.
  • Take a walk - leave the earbuds at home.
  • Conversely - turn noise-canceling headphones on in a noisy environment
  • Get up 15 minutes before everyone else
  • Stay up 15 minutes later than everyone else

Habits to Give Direct Attention to God

Once you have carved out the space to attend to God, these are the habits you will use to direct your attention to Him: Prayer, Bible Intake (reading and/or listening), Bible Study, Meditation, and Worship.

Prayer

Prayer is all the ways in which we communicate and commune with God. The fundamental purpose of prayer is to deepen our intimacy with God (Sacred Rhythms, Ruth Haley Barton). 

We need to direct our attention to God, acknowledge him, and seek his presence and help. Prayer is a fundamental part of faith. It is done both individually and with others. Prayer is best when we pray spontaneously at certain times and when we have times for giving private, calm attention directly to God. Some people find praying prayers prepared by others very helpful. Spontaneity is good, but sincerity and truthfulness are critical. Praying the prayers of other mature believers can help immensely. Praying at scheduled times (e.g. on waking or before bed, at meals, etc.) can also help. 

“It was liberating to me to understand that that prayer involved a learning process. I was set free to question, to experiment, even to fail, for I knew I was learning.” (Celebration of Discipline, Richard J. Foster)

Scripture References:

  • Luke 11:1b - "Lord, teach us to pray."
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 - "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."
  • Philippians 4:6–7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
  • 1 John 5:14–15 - "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."

Resources: 

Other Ideas: 

  • Read other written prayers
  • Use a “structure”
    • ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication)
    • PRAY (Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield) or (Pause, Rejoice, Ask, Yield)

Daily Devotionals: 

  • My Utmost for His Highest - Oswald Chambers
  • Morning & Evening Devotional - Charles Spurgeon
  • Daily in His Presence - Andrew Murray
  • New Morning Mercies - Paul David Tripp
  • Our Daily Bread  
  • YouVersion Bible App - devotional plans 

Bible Intake

Bible Intake is simply taking in God’s Word in some fashion, whether reading or listening.

Scripture References: 

  • Luke 11:28 - "He replied, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.'”
  • Romans 10:17 - "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ."
  • 1 Timothy 4:13 - "Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching."
  • 2 Timothy 3:16–17 - "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Practical Suggestions for Bible Reading:

  • Find the time
  • Find a Bible-reading plan
  • Find at least one word, phrase, or verse to meditate on each time you read

Bible Reading Plans:

Bible Study

Bible Study is diving deeper into Scripture. As author Jerry Bridges put it, “Reading gives us breadth, but study gives us depth.” The process that occurs in study should be distinguished from meditation. Meditation is devotional; study is analytical. Meditation will relish a word; study will explicate it. Although meditation and study often overlap, they constitute two distinct experiences. Study provides a certain objective framework within which meditation can successfully function (Celebration of Discipline, Richard J. Foster).

Scripture References: 

  • Ezra 7:10 - "For Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel."
  • Acts 17:11 - "Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."

Meditation

Meditation is thinking deeply on the truths and spiritual realities revealed in Scripture for the purposes of understanding, application, and prayer. Meditation goes beyond hearing, reading, studying and even memorizing as a means of taking in God’s Word (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald S. Whitney).

Study isn’t the same as thinking about what things mean for you in the deeper sense. C.S. Lewis said the work of devils was to keep our attention on the “stream of immediate sense experience,” while God wants to lead us to a consideration of ultimate and meaningful things. The longest chapter in the Bible (Ps 119) is a long celebration on how transforming and fulfilling a life of meditation and contemplation of God’s Word is.

Christian/Scriptural meditation is different from what you do in yoga class. Instead of emptying your mind, you want to fill it with God’s Word.

Scripture References: 

  • Joshua 1:8 - "Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
  • Psalm 1:1–3 - "Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers."

Resources to Get Started: 

Worship

To worship God is to ascribe the proper worth to God, to magnify His worthiness of praise, or better, to approach and address God as He is worthy (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald S. Whitney). In contrast to the religions of the East, the Christian faith has strongly emphasized corporate worship (Celebration of Discipline, Richard J. Foster).

Gathered worship has been a key part of God’s people’s lives since the tabernacle in the desert. It is a place where we rally to each other regularly and feed off each other’s faith. It is a place where we worship God, embrace humility, learn from his Word, and rehearse and remember his promises through the key rituals of faith—the Lord’s Supper and Baptism. Our weekly Worship incorporates many of the other formational habits listed here. We give direct attention to God in prayer, Bible reading, and study (through the sermon). It is a place where we can practice fellowship with one another, and give of ourselves both of our time and talents, and of our finances. These are just a few reasons why we are encouraged to meet regularly to worship God.

Scripture References: 

  • Revelation 4:8 - "Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:‘"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty," who was, and is, and is to come.'”
  • Mark 12:30 - "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."
  • Hebrews 10:24–25 - "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Habits to Welcome the Ordinary

Living for our lives for God rarely requires stepping into the limelight for us. More likely, it will require a day-in, day-out ordinary effort. We need to welcome the ordinary into our lives, knowing that these are the good works that God has prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph 2:10).

Generosity: Serving and Financial Giving

God gives to us so that we can give to others, both of our time and our finances. In some ways, we would prefer to hear Jesus’ call to deny father and mother, houses and land for the sake of the gospel than his word to wash feet…But in service we must experience the many little deaths of going beyond ourselves. Service banishes us to the mundane, the ordinary, the trivial (Celebration of Discipline, Richard J. Foster).

That’s why serving must become a spiritual discipline. The flesh reviles the hiddenness and sameness of the ordinary. Two of the deadliest of our sins—sloth and pride—loathe serving…If we don’t discipline ourselves to serve for the sake of Christ and His Kingdom (and for the purpose of godliness), we’ll “serve” only occasionally or when it’s convenient or self-serving. The result will be a quantity and quality of service we’ll regret when the Day of Accountability for our service comes (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald S. Whitney).

Scripture References: 

  • 1 Samuel 12:24 - "But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you."
  • John 13:14–16 - "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him."
  • Galatians 5:13 - "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."
  • Matthew 25:14–30 - Parable of the Talents
  • Psalm 24:1 - "The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it."
  • 1 Timothy 6:18–19 - "Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."
  • 2 Corinthians 9:7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
  • 1 Corinthians 16:1-2 Now about the collection for the Lord’s people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.

On Biblical Financial Giving:

The following points on financial giving are from Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, by Donald S. Whitney.

  • God owns everything you own (Psalm 24:1)
  • Giving is an act of worship (Philippians 4:18)
  • Giving reflects faith in God’s provision (Mark 12:41-44)
  • Giving should be sacrificial and generous (2 Corinthians 8:1-5)
  • Giving reflects spiritual trustworthiness (Luke 16:10-13)
  • Giving come from love, not legalism (2 Corinthians 9:7)
  • Give willingly, thankfully, and cheerfully (2 Corinthians 9:7)
  • Giving should be made as an appropriate response to real needs (Acts 4:32-35)
  • Giving should be planned and systematic (1 Corinthians 16:1-2)
  • Generous giving results in bountiful blessing (but not necessarily financially!) (Luke 6:38)

Resources to Put Serving into Practice: 

  • Go to the Serve Booth in the Lobby. Sign up for a service event/activity.
  • Talk with your small group and find a service activity that you can participate in
  • Take a spiritual gifts inventory. Then find ways to serve in those capacities that God has gifted you in.
  • Find a service group or charity you are interested in
    • This can be as simple as a park clean-up day or as involved as volunteering in a local Scout troop or Boys & Girls Club.

Avocation

Avocation is a subordinate occupation pursued in addition to one's vocation especially for enjoyment; a hobby. As we clear away habits and practices from our former ways of life, there will be new space to implement new practices. Some of these can and should be hobbies. 

Scripture References: 

  • Ecclesiastes 8:15 - "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun."
  • 1 Timothy 6:17 - "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment."

Questions to Ponder:

  • What “non-screen” hobbies do you enjoy? 
  • What activities could you do with family and friends?
  • What are the things you used to do that the time demands of your former way of life have stolen away? Reclaim them!
  • What are the things that you may have thought “I wish I could…?” 

Filling the Void—What Do I Do Now?  

  • Enjoyable leisure 
  • Intentional reading 
  • Hospitality, sacred and unstructured conversation and enjoyment with friends. Take turns eating with another family in their home. 
  • Direct focus on family—meals, cooking together, etc. 
  • Pursuit of art and music 
  • Unrushed activities of enjoyment—looking at stars, listening to a complete record, cooking with others, walking the neighborhood, listening to someone with your full attention 
  • Spiritual pursuits—mentoring, spiritual direction, extended Scripture reading and prayer, personal retreat 
  • Physical rest and invigoration—sleeping, exercise, etc.  
  • Restoring relationships—apologies and reconciliation 
  • Unaccountable mental pursuits—meditation, contemplation, reverie 
  • Helping and serving others—ministry of availability.  
  • Finish and upkeep of neglected things 

Habits for Belonging to the Formational Community

We do not live the Christian life alone, but in a community. The next few habits are about living with and loving one another in an intentional way.

Fellowship

Fellowship is shared community that involves deep, close-knit participation; a divinely intimate, holy unity among believers—and between believers and the Lord. When we make vows and promises to each other in covenanting together in a local church as “members” or “partners” (or whatever term a church uses), we don’t inhibit the true life of the church but give the truest conditions for its growth and flourishing.

When our fellowship is not simply a network of loose Christian relationships, but anchored in a particular “covenant community” as committed members together in a local outpost of Christ’s kingdom, we come closest to experiencing what those first Christians did, when people didn’t just drift in and out of the community, but were either in or out—and those who were in were pledged to be the church for each other through thick and thin (Habits of Grace, David Mathis).

Scripture References: 

  • Acts 2:42 - "They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer."
  • Hebrews 3:12–13 - "See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."
  • 1 John 1:3, 6–7 - "We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ…If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

Questions to Ask Yourself: 

  • How often do I meet with fellow believers? 
  • How deep are those relationships?
  • Have I made a covenant commitment to a local church body? If no, why not?

Receiving Guidance/Shepherding

Receiving shepherding or guidance involves seeking spiritual direction from mature believers and intentionally putting yourself under the leadership of elders in the local church. 

Scripture References: 

  • John 21:16 - "Again Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.'"
  • Hebrews 13:17 - "Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you."
  • Eph 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

If you are interested in either becoming a mentor, or in getting a mentor, go to the Men’s or Women’s Ministry page on the High Point Church website and fill out the appropriate form under the mentoring section.

Witnessing/Evangelizing 

Witnessing or evangelizing is to present Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit to sinful people in order that they may come to put their trust in God through Him, to receive Him as their Savior, and serve Him as their King in the fellowship of their Church; it's communicating the Gospel. Success is measured by the careful and accurate delivery of the message, not by the response of the recipient. Whenever we share the gospel, which includes the summons to repent and believe, we have succeeded. In the truest sense, all biblical evangelism is successful evangelism, regardless of the results (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald S. Whitney).

Scripture References: 

  • Matthew 28:19–20 - "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
  • Mark 16:15 - "He said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.'"
  • Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
  • Romans 10:14 - "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"

Application: 

  • Since evangelism is expected, will you obey the Lord and witness intentionally?
  • Since evangelism is empowered, will you believe God can use your words in the salvation of others?
  • Since evangelism is a Discipline, will you plan for it?

Build (and remember).

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor and with both hands at sections of time.” Annie Dillard


There’s no single “correct” way to do a Rule of Life. Your Rule will depend on your age, your stage of life, your personality, your work schedule, how long you’ve walked with Jesus, what drains you and what gives you life, whether you’re a morning person or a night owl. For three different methods to build a Rule of Life, view Appendix III of the Rule of Life companion guide. 

  1. Relax – You are going to adjust this Rule and change it throughout your life.
  2. Spiritual Vision – What do you want to happen in your life in the areas of pursuing and abiding in Jesus in the next _______ [amount of time- 2 yrs or less]
    • If you are a fairly undisciplined person, make it short – like a couple of weeks or months.
  3. Elimination – What do you need to eliminate? Eliminate as much distraction and diversion as you can.
  4. Intentionalism – What tools will you use, but need to regulate heavily to make sure you are using them and they are not using you?
  5. Accept the ordinary measures – Accept and place the Means of Grace God prescribes for everyone to the level of obedience to Scripture.
  6. Start small. See lists below. However, don’t assume how much these mean. To “commit to pray” isn’t a commitment to pray daily, or 47 minutes every day.
  7. Start with natural rhythms of time to plan around.
    • Years, seasons, holidays/celebrations, work schedules, etc.
    • Some families will need to include sports seasons, school years, and other rhythms that are part of their lives that require planning attention.
  8. Identify key moments (like holidays) and repetitive cycles (like weeks) that you can shape.
  9. Focus on the year and the week first: what special times of year will you plan to make special? What will be the rhythm of your week?
  10. Plan through different cycles. For many people you’ll need 2-5 different week-cycles depending on the time of year. That’s fine. Don’t be afraid to plan a semester at a time.
  11. Start small: Insert key actions that you think you can do that will make a real difference if you would do them.
    • Example: If you don’t normally pray, pick a couple times a day you can pray for 2-3 minutes. Immediately upon rising and at bedtime have worked for humans for a couple thousand years as a good starting point.
    • Example: Commit to pray immediately upon hearing about something you want to pray for. Stop when you get a text, or say “let’s pray right now” when someone asks you in person.
  12. Write it down
  13. Share it with someone that is not a peer
  14. Run it for a few weeks
  15. Finalize it for a period of time
  16. Have at least one exposure: There should be at least one thing in your Rule you really don’t want to do. They should not be inhuman things, but purposeful hardships that you need to grow in to overcome your weaknesses and idols.
    • There is one main therapy for people struggling with crippling forms of anxiety that keep them from really living their lives: exposure.
    • There are things we are afraid of that can limit and control us. There are obediences that make us anxious just to think about. If you grew up poor, maybe it’s financial giving. Maybe it’s sharing your faith with someone. Maybe it’s taking responsibility for something, fearing no one will show up to help you. Maybe it’s prayer, because you feel too exposed before God. Maybe you don’t want to express yourself in worship because you feel inhibited and embarrassed to express emotion or devotion in the presence of others.
    • There could be hundreds of subtle examples of opportunities for obedience which we feel inhibited or anxious about. If you know it is a good obedience and a bad anxiety/inhibition, the treatment is usually faith-filled exposure. I know that sounds scary, but sometimes you can break it down into more manageable steps. By starting smaller, you can work your way toward the confidence and courage you need to live out what God’s loving purpose is calling you to.
    • C.S. Lewis once said that courage is not just a virtue, but is the form of every virtue at the sticking point of action—the point of fullest reality. It turns out that many of our anxieties are founded on things worth fearing. The question is not whether this world is full of things worth fearing, but whether we have the courage to do what we must or choose to do in the face of fear, anxiety and inhibition. This is the very exercise of faith – finding the courage to do the good even when we are afraid. In your Rule, you should always have at least one exposure.

  • Start small and simple
  • Take your life-stage into account
  • Be flexible, but not too flexible – hold to it in time, but adjust it in premeditated ways
  • Be specific. Practices should be concrete, embodied, and practical, not vague or ideological. They are for your heart, soul, mind and strength.
    • Not: "I'm going to follow Jesus with all my heart."
    • Do: "I'm going to read the Bible in quiet 10 minutes 6 or 7 days a week."
  • Include the basics:
    • Scripture and prayer
    • Fasting
    • Sabbath and worship
  • Including the environments of:
    • Silence and solitude
    • Fellowship


List of resources